Living Smart: Managing Your Career

By Mila Clarke and Patricia Gras

As adults, we spend most of our waking hours in our jobs. Between raises and firings, changes in direction and evolving company cultures, it’s easy to become  overwhelmed with your career. How can you manage it, and make the workplace a more enjoyable place?

In the upcoming episode of Living Smart with Patricia Gras airing on July 17th at 3 p.m., and July 22^nd at 10:30 p.m., international coach, Karen Otazo, tells us how we can navigate the workplace more efficiently.

Otazo says  you need to adopt the “when in Rome” attitude when you’re beginning a new job – meaning you should allow yourself to play by the new rules of your new job. The baggage from your old job has to be let go of in order for you to do an adequate job at your new place of employment. You also have to be sure you build trust with your peers.

“You’ve got to test it, and there’s four kinds of tests. You actually have to test whether they will get something done. Let’s say there’s a secretary that works for you and other People. When you give her or him something and you say, “This is the deadline,” and you write it down, do they do it? Do they do it properly? But you have to also ask, figure out, if someone has expertise. When you go to the secretary or to the lawyer or to the human resources exec, do they have the expertise to answer your questions? That’s expertise trust. Yes. There’s other kinds of trust, as well.”

Getting noticed is also key to navigating the job landscape. Otazo mentions that you should ask questions and get feedback around the office. Asking questions gets others to take notice that you’re paying attention and that you’re interested in what you do.

One of the most important aspects if navigating your career is networking. With the amount of web space we have to connect, it’s extremely easy to stay relevant in peoples minds. Otazo says to think of a network like a bunch of concentric circles. She says that it’s important to have a large network of people in other sates, or countries.

Networking can also easily lead to your next assignment. Otazo says that “networking means that somebody tells somebody else, so when you do good work, you’re creating the story about you so, you really are able to get into the next assignment because enough people know about you.”

To learn more about Managing your career, watch Living Smart with Patricia Gras featuring Karen Otazo on Sunday, July 17^th  at 3 p.m. and then again on Friday, July 22th at 10:30 pm.

What I learned this week: I play a major role in the challenges or problems I face with other people, therefore I take responsibility and if I don’t, sooner or later I have to deal with it.

What I am grateful for: One of my dear friends allowed me to have a healing conversation of few words with her the day before she died. We both knew she would pass but we both silently understood that it would be okay.

HEALING CONVERSATIONS
By Bianca Perez and Patricia Gras

We have all been in a situation when someone we love is going through a difficult time and finding the right words to comfort them seems downright impossible. What are we supposed to say to people with heavy hearts and minds or going through the “dark night of the soul?”

In the upcoming episode of “Living Smart with Patricia Gras” airing on July 3rd at 3pm, author and Emmy Award winning journalist, Nance Guilmartin guides us through the steps we should take to effectively communicate with someone going through difficult times.

Guilmartin says that truly listening is often better than having the perfect words to say. During her successful career as a journalist, Guilmartin found herself on both sides of the fence after losing loved ones and having friends who experienced grief themselves.  Guilmartin found that people’s best intentions are rarely successfully expressed when devastating events take place. She was then inspired to write her two books The Power of Pause and Healing Conversations: What to Say When You Don’t Know What to Say.

As an educator, Guilmartin teaches her audiences that these powerful conversations are essential to the healing process, which is why they must be treated delicately. She says we become too obsessed with trying to fulfill what we think the person needs rather than actually listening to what the other has to say. Guilmartin says. It’s best to “So go in easy and first listen for what they might need or what they may not yet be ready to accept.  Be a friend, not a rescuer.”

The problem may very lie in our own definition of actually “listening.” According to Nance Guilmartin,“most people think listening is, ‘Well, I wasn’t saying anything.  I was listening.’  But of course your mind is rehearsing what you want to say and you’re having a reaction or an opinion or it’s not what you expected and so you’re in this whole mental mess.  So listening is to listen for what you don’t know.

Listening is only the first step of Guilmartin’s “Ten Principles of Healing Conversations.” The other principles include pausing, comforting, self-evaluation, preparedness, showing up, being resourceful, taking initiative, and showing compassion.

Likewise, Dr. Cecilia Sun, Assistant Director of the University of Houston’s Counseling and Psychological Services, holds listening to be of the utmost significance. “The best things to do,” she says, “are to listen, emphasize, and normalize. Many statements that are intended as encouragement end up minimizing or invalidating the other person’s experience.“

While grieving and depression generally passes with time, it is not uncommon for people to seek help from professionals to alleviate overwhelming emotions. However, we are often scared or hesitant to even recommend counseling to our loved ones. Most of the time, it is hard for us to decipher whether someone needs professional help or if the grief they are experiencing is normal. Dr. Sun offers that the first step is to recognize the signs and symptoms of distress which include, but are not limited to:

-complaining of sadness or crying more often
-being irritable on most days or having unexpected angry outbursts
-losing interest or pleasure in most activities
-avoiding friends, activities, school/work, social events
-increasing use of alcohol and/or drugs
-exhibiting severe behavior change, such as a quiet person becoming wild or active
-worrying or being unable to think of anything but the problem
-experiencing declining grades or other academic problems
-showing greatly increased energy, decreased need for sleep, euphoria, or manic behavior
-thinking or talking about death or dying.

In the event that such symptoms are present, she says it is best to “talk with your friend privately and allow time for the conversation. Express your concerns honestly in terms of what you have noticed in their behavior. Be caring and firm, not judgmental. Ask about your friend’s intentions directly and do not agree to keep his/her concerns a secret. Acknowledge the stigma some people associate with therapy services and emphasize help-seeking as a sign of strength.“

Regardless of what the situation may be, the best thing do is to be there for those we love during their trials and tribulations and participate in these difficult, but powerful conversations. As for ourselves, it is always important to surround ourselves with loving and supporting people who would do the same. We must also remember that there is never any shame in offering or asking for it. After all, time heals all wounds, but friends are an amazing way to expedite the process!

To learn more about healing conversations, watch “Living Smart with Patricia Gras” featuring Nance Guilmartin on Sunday, July 3rd at 3pm and then again on Friday, July 8th at 10pm.

You can also visit Nance Guilmartin’s website at:

http://www.healingconversations.com/

Be sure to watch overcoming addiction with Derek Steele This Sunday April 3rd at 3pm on HoustonPBS (repeats Friday at 10pm)

Watch the video on this page on the Science of Addiction with Dr. Tom Kosten the creator of the cocaine vaccine.

By: Patricia Gras & Michelle Reed, Production Assistant

In today’s generation, social media plays a pivotal role in most young adults and teenager’s lives. From checking what our friends are doing on Facebook to Twitter, teens are connected to the digital world 24/7. And with a connection to outside resources, and friend’s lifestyles, some teens can be introduced to drugs and alcohol.

Since 2008, a steady decline in drug use has been shown among 10^th to 12^th grade high school students according to NIDA (National Institute on Drug Abuse). In NIDA’s study, use of the painkiller Vicodin has decreased from 9.7 percent to 8 percent among students. While nonmedical use of hallucinogen’s has declined as well, studies show that student’s continue to choose crack cocaine and Adderall (a drug used for people with Attention Deficit Disorder or Narcolepsy to focus on normal tasks), as their drug of choice.

Finding a way to communicate with a teenager about drug addiction or alcoholism can sometimes feel as if you are pulling teeth, but it’s easier to communicate to your teen about issues like addiction in a way that they can understand, even if that mean’s allowing them to search the web for answers.

TheFix.com, a website that is a number once source for all things drugs, alcohol, and recovery, went online today. While the topics are geared toward adults, parent’s can use the website as an indirect way to communicate to their teen’s while spending time together.

The website was founded by Radar Magazine editor Maer Roshan who says in a New York Times article that he decided to create the website because while he was struggling with substance abuse earlier in his life, he found that there were no media outlets for him to go to for help.

“These are people who are united by their values, united by their mission; there’s a common lingo, common literature,” Roshan said in the article. “There’s an actual community here.”

The website not only offers serious stories on addiction and recovery, but it brings in funny stories that will help any addict recover in laughter. Even if the website isn’t helpful for a child, it is said to be incredibly helpful for recovering adults as well. Each story will be written by affluent writers, journalists and novelists all over the world.

And even though the website won’t replace the help of a doctor or a recovery center, it does serve as an outlet for recovering addicts to participate in a community where the writers, and the fans, are dealing with the same issues.

Links to a few Texas and Houston area recovery centers:

Memorial Hermann Prevention & Recovery Center: http://www.mhparc.org/

Road to Recovery Texas: http://www.roadtorecoverytexas.com/

Pathway to Recovery: http://www.pathwaytorecovery.com/

Burning Tree Ranch: http://www.burningtree.com/

Sources: http://www.thefix.com

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/28/business/media/28fix.html?src=busln

http://www.nicd.us/statistics.html

EMMY-NOMINATED SERIES LIVING SMART WITH PATRICA GRAS RETURNS ON APRIL 3 FOR ITS SEVENTH SEASON

Living Smart with Patricia Gras airs Sundays at 3 p.m. and Fridays at 10 p.m. on HoustonPBS/Channel 8

(HOUSTON-March 18, 2011)- Living Smart with Patricia Gras, a locally produced, award-winning series on Channel 8, returns for its seventh season on Sunday, April 3 at 3 p.m.  The show, which focuses on helping viewers get the most out of life by finding solutions to different life challenges. Each episode features a single guest discussing a specific topic. The show’s producer and host, Emmy-award winner Patricia Gras, says she selects her guest because they have something to share that will empower, educate or inspire viewers.

“When times are difficult and uncertain I want this series to remind us we have a choice, to survive or thrive, to be passive or proactive, to live in fear or live with hope. The underlying theme of this season, and really every season we produce, is there is always hope. There is always a better way to live.” says Gras.

For the new season, Gras went in search of practical solutions to help viewers who are dealing with an array of issues—from addiction, to career advice to improving relationships and finding better health and wellness.  Even though Living Smart airs nationally on over 200 PBS channel, the majority of experts featured on the show are Houstonians, which is important to Gras.

“Houston is a great city with amazing people who are doing remarkable things that sometimes fly under the radar. One of the things we want to accomplish with this show is give Houstonians an opportunity to share their expertise not just here in Houston but with the rest of the country as well,” says Gras.

Living Smart with Patricia Gras airs Sundays at 3 p.m. and Fridays at 10 p.m. on HoustonPBS/Channel 8.

- ### -

Additional Resources

Living Smart with Patricia Gras http://www.houstonpbs.org/livingsmart

About HoustonPBS

HoustonPBS/Channel 8 serves to empower, engage and enrich the lives of the people of Southeast Texas. HoustonPBS provides content and services that advance civic engagement, create an environment for learning and encourage the exchange of diverse perspectives. Millions of people tune in each month to watch quality programs about culture, arts, science, news and national and world affairs as well as award-winning children’s programming.

HoustonPBS/KUHT-TV is a service of the University of Houston supported through the Association for Community Broadcasting.

This coming Tuesday night a 7pm October 26th I am moderating a town forum on Energy, the environment and the economy: Making it work. I would like for you to participate by calling or writing to us about what you think.  This has been a challenging topic precicely because as a society we will only thrive when we respect balance (Ying and Yang) How do we go about being the energy capital of the world and protecting the environment? Good philosophical question. In the mean time you can read about the Chilean Miners and Living Smart. What can we learn from them? A lot!!!

I am glad to say the Chilean Miners are now above ground with their loved ones.  I was so moved by this ordeal which took around 22 hours to complete, that I felt the need to share with viewers how much I learned from these men, their families and their government. I don’t know if my tears of joy had anything to do with the fact that I was raised in Mendoza which is only an hour away from Santiago in Chile and that I have always felt a certain affection for the Chilean people. The rescue had me glued to the TV and every time a new miner would come out, I felt a sense of relief, joy and panic for the ones who were still underground.

I know many around the planet were watching this rescue and I was glad because finally amidst a horrible political season, an unstable economy, surrounded by so many people who are living in fear and spewing hatred here in the United States,  I was watching something positive, uplifting, joyful, and real.  Perhaps I am tired, like so many Americans about the bad news that we hear almost every day. Republicans and Democrats at each other’s throat over the upcoming elections, drug criminals beheading those they oppose in Mexico, a peace process between Israel and Palestianians that has become a hypocritical play…need I go on!  Here was this event thousands of miles away, that gave us all hope. We were watching  people who lived underground for two months with very little chance of survival, make it out alive and in the process inpire the world. They had actually helped each other, kept each other alive through sheer faith, determination and hope.

Let’s look at what went right for a change. Their families, as soon as they found out they were alive, stayed in makeshift camps with no clean water or electricity. When they were told to leave, they refused. They knew that if they stayed, their loved ones underground would get the media attention they needed  for the government to get them out.  They kept the faith, prayed every day, and believed their loved ones would make it.

The rescue workers who were mostly miners felt a comraderie that motivated them to work tirelessly for their co workers for weeks. They also supported the families and became part of the force that demanded and wanted a resolution from those responsible.

Then there was the government. I don’t doubt that it recognized a great photo opportunity, but let’s face it they did one thing that I have not seen many governments do in the scale they did. That was to ask the whole world for help (what a concept)  and actually listened,  accepted the suggestions and and implented them.! I wish we had done some of that with the BP oil spill.

These men survived what no human has ever had to endure. What happened in that hole was many say, a miracle. Imagine yourself in a tiny room with 33 other stinky men with no where to go, nothing to see but darkness and little or no food for days! But what did they do? They shared, they supported each other, they prayed, they motivated one another. Now let’s see what would happen if we put 16 Democrats, and 16 Republicans and one independent …You get my drift?

These men were in a dark hole, yet they saw the light. They had little, yet they didn’t fight over what they had. They had little chance of survival but kept their faith and hope. Do you know what I learned? We all have that capacity within us. We can choose love over fear,  faith over despair, light over darkness, generosity over greed,  hope over reality (Living Smart.)  Reality was telling them,  you are in a dark hole, hundreds of feet underground, but guess what if you just hold onto that little hope, just focus on the great things you still have, (God, family, children,country) maybe you’ll make it. These men deserved to make it and for a night I think those who watched this became Chilean miners. WE all had it within us. Someone just had to show us how to find it. Thank you miners, thank you Chile and thank God they made it.

HeyUgly organization has reached 650,000 students through its programs

By: Angel Hadnott, Production Assistant

Our Economy is slowly recuperating from an unprecedented financial crisis. The environment suffers from industry processes and emissions. Antibiotics used in the food we eat may be increasing our resistance to medication. We face tremendous global and local challenges. But there is hope, despite all these problems, there are many organizations and groups working to make the world a better place. The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) is working to clean our air. There are countless organizations that exist to help those struggling with debt and finance, and people are becoming more and more educated about the issues of living and eating healthy. One issue though that is often overlooked by many adults is the issue of low esteem and it’s impact on a child’s life.

Since most of us have had moments of insecurity and self doubt, low self esteem is an issue that most people can relate to. A moment where you had a idea or thought to take the initiative on a project, to take the lead, and you heard a voice that said “You’re not good enough,” or “ It won’t work out,”. Betty Hoeffner, a representative at HeyUgly.org, said these voices are nothing more than self bullying.

Organizations such as HeyUgly.Org and Always Sisters Forever Brothers promote self esteem in youth and adults, and work to bring awareness to issues like bullying, depression, and other ills that plague many Americans both young and old. Self bullying, much like low self esteem, is common among children. They tell themselves that their ugly, or not smart or pretty enough, and as a result, they try to deflect those negative feelings by putting others down.

HeyUgly.org teaches children to get in touch with their thoughts and feelings and recognize when self bullying is occurring. “We tell them what their feelings can teach them about themselves,” said Hoeffner, “We tell them to squish or cancel out the negative feelings, and replace them with positive ones.”

Cece Winans, creator and host of Always Sisters Forever Brothers

Always Sisters Forever Brothers, an annual conference created by Grammy award-winning Cece Winans, aims to uplift the spirit of young adults through motivational teachings and inspirational worship. The conference consists of 2 ½ days packed with informative sessions, praise and worship, skits, a fashion show. The idea is to educate, motivate and redirect the life choices of young men and women.

“Our young women and men need to know whose they are, and how valuable they are,” said Winans, who also hosts the conference, “They are princes and princesses because of who they belong to.”. Along with promoting self esteem, through Always Sisters Forever Brothers, Winans helps young adults realize their potential through her involvement with How Sweet the Sound .

How Sweet the Sound, Verizon’s nationwide gospel choir competition, allows young women and men across the country to showcase their ability, and explore their potential in a fun and positive environment. “The competition is healthy because its gospel music. And gospel music is good because its about hope,” said Winans, “The show is a lot of fun, and everyone should. It’s definitely a show that will get you jumping.”

Always Sisters Forever Brothers participants on stage

Involvement in activities like choirs, theatre, band, or programs that promote self esteem like HeyUgly.org are important to ensure that children, and young men and women grow up with the knowledge and confidence that they can achieve their goals. Many problems in our country have been fixed because someone tried or attempted to find a solution. Someone had a dream. If the youth in America lose their ability to dream, or to have faith in their dreams, where will that leave our country?

Educators, parents, or children who would like to find out more information about the HeyUgly organization can at www.heyugly.org.

Those who would like more information on the Always Sisters Forever Brothers conference can get by visiting www.alwayssistersforeverbrothers.com.

Disclosure: The views shared in this articles may not be the view shared by HoustonPBS or Patricia Gras.

What I learned this week:
Sometimes old behavior patterns are difficult to change. Each time I get angry I have to remove myself from the situation, calm down and then respond. That’s just Living Smart “ly”

What I am grateful for:
I have learned to forgive myself when I mess up and choose to be happy rather than to
“be right. ”
————————————————————————————————-
Here’s a sneak-peek into what’s on Living Smart and Latina Voices this week!
Continue Reading

A week ago we finished taping season 3 of Living Smart. Production went more smoothly than past shows because now, by the third try, we are getting better at it! I am really proud of the guests this season. This time around I wanted to choose people who are living extraordinary lives. These are people who have a purpose. They set an example by how they live their lives.
Topics range from the latest on nutrition and why we can’t lose weight, to tips on effective living and coping with addiction, depression and environmental degradation.

The focus of this series is to introduce experts in our community in an entertaining way by providing new and insightful information that will empower and benefit our lives.
Continue Reading

I am both excited and concerned about writing on Green Energy. I do believe each one of us should do something to conserve energy and care for our environment in our own way. For instance I just bought compact light bulbs and three months ago I signed up with GREEN MOUNTAIN ENERGY, But I am afraid to say I had a problem with them. My bill went from 50 dollars in November to about $300 in December and up to $400 in January.

 Needless to say I was shocked and in my 16 years of living in my apartment I had never paid more than usually 90 dollars. My highest bill those sixteen years was $175. I have been investigating this and would like to know if you have had any experience or know of anyone who has had experience with Green Mountain Energy please write me back. I am sure if I had problems with this, many others have too. So far my cousin in Dallas and a friend here in Houston had similar problems. Have you experienced a problem like this? What did you do about it? What are your thoughts about green energy? I would love to hear your feedback.

Dr. Myron Bernstein, a Doctor of Podiatry is also a consumer advocate and author. In his bookHave You Been Royally Screwed?, he teaches individuals how to become smart consumers. Bernstein has found, over the past 35 years, himself frustrated with people and companies selling him a bill of goods about their services and warranties. Bernstein understands now how to use the consumer protection agencies, insurance commissions and courts, when necessary, to get people and companies to perform. Dr. Bernstein asserts that the strength of the consumer lies in their power to choose to do business with a company. He believes that it is not until more consumers take action against large companies, that they will stop taking advantage of their silence. This firm mindset is what compels Bernstein to stand for his rights, no matter the size of the company in question.

This episodes’ Green Tip features Chris Powers, the founder of Houston Biodiesel, the first Biodiesel pump in Houston.

To learn more about Dr. Bernstein and consumer rights as well as Chris Powers and Houston Biodiesel, visit the Living Smart webpage here.