Years ago, after a relationship was over, I had a broken heart. I was fortunate enough to realize blame wasn’t going to get me anywhere. My significant other had not really done anything wrong. It was over. After the seven stages of grief which are listed below.
http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-stages-of-grief.html (link to this list)
1. SHOCK & DENIAL-
2. PAIN & GUILT-
3. ANGER & BARGAINING-
4. “DEPRESSION”, REFLECTION, LONELINESS-
5. THE UPWARD TURN-
6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-
7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-
I accepted that in my case no one was to blame. We were different. We didn’t want the same things. We had different values. We didn’t even like the same things. Physical attraction was not enough to hold us together.
I think most writers do their best work when they suffer. This is no surprise. Your feelings are raw. You become vulnerable and if you handle it right, you learn humility and with that you become a better writer.
I wrote this a few weeks after I saw an Argentine movie and one of the lines was “How can I shine a light on the dark side of my soul.” It was then I realized I needed to “shine a light on the dark side of my heart.” I had to learn to forgive and so love again, so I could do it better next time. Recognize that all the expectations, those incredibly strong, profound feelings, the intense attraction, and the illusion of love are extremely powerful and few human can let go of the heart and emotions to assess the situation intellectually. We are caught in a storm of emotions.
I clearly recognized that love is an illusion sometimes. We think a romantic relationship is going to be great because of all those powerful feelings we have and in the end, it turns out different. We become enamored, at least I did with the illusion of love and what it COULD mean, not what it really is. So this song is about release.
Are we to blame the other because they no longer love us? Think about it. I found a better path. I blamed the illusion. I took responsibility for my own pain. I released the heartache and I celebrated the great experiences I had while the illusion lasted. “What is love but a poem of lost illusions?” We put romantic love on a pedestal, the higher the illusion or pedestal, the greater the fall, but blaming our significant other simply because they stopped feeling the way we want them to feel is just unrealistic. People change. We change. Life changes us. All that is permanent is change. I do believe some relationships work, but we all know both people are changing together and the romantic love I am talking about transforms itself into something else. Something I believe less passionate but more real. It lets go of the illusion and opens a door to a more mature, steady, long-term kind of love, the one we all really want but struggle to find.
I produced this with my production interns and edited it with a former Houston Public Television colleague, Gary Nilsen. We shot it with two small HD consumer cameras the (Vixia HF M31)
The young actors are going to college and so are the interns except one who works as a writer. I didn’t play the guitar in the recording, the master Steve Delgado and Maria francisca Gonzalez did, but I will play the guitar during my next concert September 21st at the Artery in Houston to raise money for breast cancer survivors.
I have lived in many countries and cities in the US, but Houston is my home. I was born here. I miss the ocean and the mountains, but there are two things I love about Houston, its trees and flowers. They are the true stars in this video. I believe our city is often unappreciated. Part of that has to do with our own lack of awareness about what surrounds us. We take it for granted. Houston has some of the most stunning, beautiful, and ancient trees I have ever seen. As for the flowers, they are everywhere, but we often don’t notice them because we are rushing, so I hope this video will make you more aware so you can notice them more. I think it will make you happier and that’s no illusion!