When I was growing up, I had no idea how important wine would be for this town. I knew I saw vineyards everywhere, but when you are a child you don’t understand the economics of a place, you just like where you are depending who you are with, and if there is a place to play. In Mendoza, I was always surrounded by stunning views of the Andes Mountains. My backyard had a small vineyard and so did a lot of my neighbors. When we played, our snacks were always Malbec grapes.

In Mendoza I don’t remember one day of rain. It was always sunny and the seasons well defined. I did hate the winter because we didn’t have central heating, so I would shriver every morning before going to school in my mom’s fiat. Everywhere you were in Mendoza, you could always see the snow capped Andes mountains in the background and they were always stunning.

My grandfather had owned a wine business so I had a lot of family involved in that industry. I actually played in wine pools and can always remember the scent of wine, but frankly even though wine was never missing in a meal, I didn’t understand its importance until I got older. My grandfather was from Molins de Rey, a town close to Barcelona in Spain and he like other immigrants from Italy and other European countries started vineyards to produce mainly Malbec and other fine wines.
Today, Mendoza is among the “Great Wine Capitals of the World, along with Napa, California, Bordeaux and Rioja. The region attracts winemakers from all over the world and they are investing in the region with the most innovating technology.

Tourism has also increased considerably since I was a child. Every year for instance between February and March, Mendoza celebrates the ever growing grape harvest festival (la Fiesta de la Vendimia)
This was such a special event, especially for kids, that no one could deny its magic, beauty and attraction.

Approximately a thousand performers, entertain the city’s residents and visitors in a musical Greek type Amphitheatre. Though I have travelled over 50 countries in my lifetime, I have yet to see the large scale sound and light show I saw as a child in Mendoza. I also remember the much awaited Carrusel parade where the local gauchos and festival queen hopefuls wave as they passed.

Life in Mendoza was full of rituals. There was the Asado or (meat grill) every Sunday at different spots, like the Andino club or my uncle’s farm. On Sundays, there was usually an important soccer game the whole family watched.
Every February we would get to dress up and get wet during carnival. In March there was of course the grape harvest festival. During the winter holidays we celebrated Christmas and New years by the pool (yes, it is summer there during christmas in the southern hemisphere) In spring time, I would often go to the mountains with friends to just hike, talk and drink mate (Argentine tea.) Then there was the peatonal, these are the pedestrian areas in the city’s center where people gather to have a cup of coffee, shop or watch street performers. This is where I would often meet friends on saturday mornings to do some people watching.

Almost everywhere you are in Mendoza, you can see Aconcagua, at nearly 23,000 feet, it is the highest mountain in Latin America, so you will always find a mountain climber walking around the streets of city.

Mendoza owns part of my heart and I have never met anyone who didn’t enjoy visiting. Besides great wine, the cuisine is exquisite, there are great crafts and galleries, adventure tourism and great plazas and parks, but for me the greatest gift Mendoza has to offer is its people. Perhaps I feel that way because I know their caliber and they know they live in a special paradise, far from the maddening crowd..so far.

.

May 8th 2012

I will be starting a new diet plan under the supervision of a wellness coach in June, until then I am watching my eating habits and I find that a lot of time I eat out of boredom. I crave certain things so I just go ahead and eat but then I cut back on calories on the next meal. I am still trying to eat every two hours and smaller meals.
May 7th
Protein shake, chicken and salad, bowl of berries, salmon and salad a candy bar!
One hour Pilates
Adventurous activity: Took my parents out to a new restaurant.

First days in Houston
My weight has actually gone up. I am not doing well so I am making an effort to eat every two hours and eat lighter dinners. I still have ways to go. I plan to release 15 pounds by the end of the summer to reach my ideal weight of 135 lbs.

Adventurous Activity
played music at an international festival, something I have not done in almost 10 years.

My last two days in New York city were rainy and cold. I ate a lot of nut bars that probably had too much sugar and ate some sandwiches which I usually don’t but all in all I didn’t gain any weight. I plan to monitor my sugars and flours a lot more. This week I want you to beware of what you eat. Keep a food diary. This has proven to help in releasing weight. My junk today consisted of a nut with fruits bar. I will try to eat less of that and find a better snack.

Adventurous activity
Last two days I walked in the rain in New York and met a fabulous person who is changing the world through her human rights activism.

The last two days I have walked at least an hour a day. That’s easy to do in New York and it’s not like you have a choice. From now on I will share with you only when I have not eaten a healthy meal. In other words when I am NOT EATING CLEAN. that means when I am eating “processed foods” anything with flour in it and anything with refined sugar and fats. Thus whenever I eat anything junkie I will share what I am eating. This will make it easier to undrestand my bad habits. The last two days I “heated” on a few things. I ate 3 small deserts (could have done well with just one) and one scone. Other than that I was preety good. i did excercise twice by walking for an hour around battery park with a view of new Jersey. My adventurous activies here consist of visiting new places in New York city!

Iam spending a few days in New York making job connections and attending my Alma Mater Columbia J school 100 celebration! Staying with friend who are an inspiration to me She is gorgeous and kind and he is a new triathlete. thanks to both of them I have decided to dance! A lot more than I have been!It would be an acceptable addiction!

Thursday New York Columbia Uni
starbucks protein breakfast
Iced tea and cappucino
Ham and cheese sandwich and trail mix
Another trail mix and cappucino
Noodle chicken soup
Walked an hour
Adventurous activity walked around Columbia campus where I had not been before

New York we’d April 18

Yogurt a strawberry shake a grilled chicken salad

Tilapia with a few French fries fruit trail snack
Walked an hour

adventurous activity
Sitting in battery park benches watching the water and New Jerseynfrom afar

Yesterday I weighed myself for the first time in a week. I went up another pound. This means since last year I have gained 4 pounds. I know deep in my heart I will stop this gain and reach my perfect weight of 135 lbs. The reason I am sharing this process is because in the past it was never easy and I am attempting to find a way this is going to work for me and thus I can share with you what I learn that is truly effective. Lesson one, you do have to use the scale daily and recognize a lot of what you will see is water weight BUT..you have to know what is going on with your body on a daily basis. Yesterday I joined my fitnesspal.com Let’s see if that helps. I do know if you write down what you eat you are more likely to succeed in reaching perfect weight.

Monday April 16th 148.7

Sunday
Breakfast
one apple with cinamon
lunch
half an apple
turkey slices 2 large
salad

Dinner
3 pieces of piola pizza
one salad plate

excercice 1 hour dancing
Adventurous activity I played with two white labs at the dance patio

It has been about six weeks and I have not released one pound! I am a bit frustrated but I am getting my energy back and perhaps that has to do with the fact that my stress level is going down. I am sleeping better so the supplements are kicking in and I know that once I have more energy, I will begin to release weight. I also know that as soon as the digestive enzymes begin to do their job, I too will be able to release the toxins in my body more effectively. The goal now is not to gain, at least to maintain until I get a wellness coach. Yes, I have decided I need extra help. I am also going to the doctor to get a full physical which is necessary for anyone trying to release weight. I look forward to sharing with you what my plan is in June. I will be out of the country for a few weeks and plan to MAINTAIN!!!

April 12th 140 on old scale

a starbucks protein plate and chai tea
lunch fish and veggies, hummus and two crackers cantaloupe for desert
Dinner potatoe chips and a banana

Light dancing for half an hour

adventurous activity: I played the Argentine drums on my back!

April 11th
breakfast
small croissant and coffee
lunch
lots of carb cakes
seaweed salad and slice of turkey

dinner
piece of sweet potatoe
chicken legs
spinach souffle
1/4 ice cream with cone

one hour pilates

Adventurous Activity Attended an international high school celebration of Argentina (Awty School)

Apri 10th

It has been six weeks and my weight remains the same. Why? I have no discipline. I am still eating carbs, pasta, cookies. Not much mind you but I am still having a hard time focusing on what I need to do.
Here are my stressors
I have a lot of fatigue and I am trying to find out why. This affects my exercise schedule
I hurt my shoulder so I can’t move it as freely as possible. I have also re injured my ankle and my lower back
Life has a way of stressing me out. My mother and dad both have medical procedures I have no control over. I don’t yet have a full time job. Why am I sharing this because all of this affects how we eat. IT IS STILL NO EXCUSE! I still have choices to make and I can make the right ones or the wrong ones so today I start again and soon I will work with a coach to improve my chances.

on Tuesday

dinner half pasta plate and half cheese plate
lunch 4 shrimp, salad and crab meat with avocado and two piece of bread tonic water
one protein shrimp

NO EXERCISE
Adventurous activity..attended a 4 hour OPERA!

Monday

protein shake
plate of shrimp spring rolls and a veggie plate
dinner pasta plate with vegetables

1 hour of pilates

adventurous acvtivity..a foot massage

Remember when I told you this was not a diet? This was a lifetime plan? do you know why? well, I often fall off the wagon. I start eating badly. The last two days my mood hasn’t been the best. When I feel down, I eat badly. Take the last two days. April 2nd and 3rd
Monday and Tuesday I ate waffles with honey for breakfast..that’s just not smart. Its a carb and two hours later you are hungry because your hypoglycemic index (glucose level) goes up and you crash and you get hungry. Then for lunch monday and tuesday I had a pizza and a TV dinner..then was snacking around with crackers and honey, not smart. What do I buy at Costco after that? potatoe chips that are low in fat but still…all salt and sugar and addictive..Monday night I ate a good dinner but too much food. I had chicken and veggies but I blew it eating a tera misu desert and last night I ate okay but too much again adding potatoe salad (also bad to stabilize glycemic index) and a bit of lasagna..
Have I weighed myself last few days NOOOOOOOO.So here is my lesson. This is a process folks, a lifetime process so I plan to hook up with a wellness coach and get someone to help me with this. I am experimenting just like you. I did exercise Monday and Tuesday..yesterday just one hour.
My advenurous activites both days Monday, I got feldekreiss done and learned what I can do to walk properly and on Tuesday, I bought a monitor so I could learn to edit final cut pro better..NOW THAT’S AN ADVENTURE.may I add I went to the new Apple store in Houston.

April 6 and 7th
Breakfast
During breakfast if you want to release weight you should eat protein. On friday I had a protein shake and
saturday egg whites with beans and both days I had coffee which should be replaced with green tea to release even more weight
lunch on friday I had a chinese food plate with curry and no carbs on saturday I had fruit and some chips
dinner on friday chicken and veggies, ice cream and cappucino on saturday I had a great thai crunchy salad
I did excercise an hour on saturday by walking, no exercise on friday.
My adventurous activities on friday went to a sacred space and prayed for a few minutes
and on saturday I spent time in the arboretum

April 1st April Fools
The first show of my last season of Living Smart series airs today..How appropriate that it air on April Fools while I am no longer there at HoustonPBS
Glad it is airing and I am honoring all my contracts. I say this because we can’t deny that our emotional state of being influences how we eat and what we put in our mouth. We have to be aware of that on a daily basis and be mindful and calm and bless our food before we eat it.

April 1st 139lb on OLD SCALE (remember new one does not work)
one apple with cinnamon
one piece of chicken 7 oz
salads, 1/2 cup of pasta
desert plate half of a piece of tera misu
3 oz of salmon with a hummus dip and celery
6 crackers

no exercise. Today was difficult. I was very sore and tired

adventurous activity Watched the country music awards for the first time in my life.

I notice in the past month which has not been too successful as far as releasing weight, that I have so many parties and celebrations, it is tough to stay on track so the plan now is to attempt to eat smaller portions of the types of food I am not to eat like 10 different types of deserts which is what I ate yesterday. I also find that staying positive and looking at this as a long term plan and not a diet helps me stay on track.

I am now affirming each day that I have a perfect weight and a fit body. Though I often don’t do enough for myself to get to this point I am a big proponent of positive affirmations and no matter what I do I believe eventually I will reach my goal this way.

Today March 29th I realized my scale was not working! It was going from 144 to 149 so I took the 144 and ran with it!! no seriously, it goes to show you, the focus should always be on health not weight. However, I didn’t do really well today but at least I exercised.

March 31st Saturday
Vegetable soup with 10 crackers
a jamba juice smoothie low cal
one piece of cake
two pieces of chicken picatta and marsala
salads a bowl
pasta cup
a plate of desserts
a stuffed mushroom

one hour dancing and one hour of pilates
15 minutes of beach volleyball

Adventurous Activity Beach volleyball

March 30th weighed in old scale and went down a pound
Starbucks protein plate 380 cal
lunch 2 stuffed grape leaves 3 oz of lean meat veggies
piece of cake and chocolate
one empanada
another chocolate and half pastry
one plum

no excercise

Adventurous Activity: Finished my Reiki class and practiced reiki on loved ones.

March 29th No weigh in
starbucks protein plate 350 cal
one light chai tea
one piece of pizza salad and cup of soup
one almond bar 190 cal
4 crackers and tsp of honey
one plate of noquis and salad

one hour pilates

Adventurous Activity: Learned the first step to doing reiki.

Today March 22nd I will be out town but will keep track of my eating habits and report when I get back in a few days.

I wrote the following on March 18th.
Okay I am frustrated now. It’s been almost two weeks and I have yet to release a pound. I think I have to start counting calories. I got off the train today and cheated miserably. I accept my disappointment and have decided to change the course..start counting calories. I will also visit a Doctor to find out if my inability to release weight has something to do with a health problem.

1. Eat every two hours
2. Move, every time you see stairs, use them! If you are bored get up and walk. Quit sitting around to watch TV or on computer.
Get up every half hour and walk around or stretch.
3. Cut out sugars PERIOD no excuses. You can cheat once a week. Okay I do cheat more than that but I am human!
4. If you do cheat, quit feeling guilty, just get back on the healthy train the next day. NO ONE IS PERFECT.
5. Practice random acts of kindness. This will help others and you feel better. If you feel better, you will eat better.
6. Drink water as much as you can..(yes I hate this one but it works)

7. Forgive yourself and find out what calms you down and do it! for me it is prayer and meditation.
8. Eat a fruit or a healthy snack before a big dinner
9. If things are not working increase your exercise
10. If you are fatigued like I am perhaps visit a Doctor to find out what is going on..
March 21st no weigh in

March 28th 146.3 lbs

Okay so I paid for eating so much yesterday but it is not every day we have celebrations like that one. It was a wonderful day and eating was part of it. I just realized though that I have to allow myself to be more mindful and to stop eating once I am full. I still do that too much so the trick now is to breathe five times once I feel full, and walk away from the table for a few minutes. Today was better and it helped that I have some serious mouth sores (due to a bad diet) so it is very painful to eat.

breakfast
fruit and oatmeal
soup with crackers
another soup with cheese and ham
crackers
one tonic water

DID NOT EXERCISE!!! why? EXHAUSTED

but I took care of self today by taking a nap and going to bed early. This will help I believe get my strength back to live a healthier life.

ADVENTUROUS ACTIVITY: I did a playback theatre performance and truly enjoyed it.

March 27th FAMILY BIRTHDAY!! 145.5
The good news is that my weight went down considerably. It makes sense I couldn’t gain 3 pounds in just 3 days but I did eat a lot of junk. Today I was not going to watch my lifestyle plan because it was a day of celebration. I had too many wonderful goodies to eat so I splurged.
breakfast none except half an apple
lunch two small round hand size pizzas, kebbe 6 oz, hummus three tbs, birthday cake, lots of coffee with milk
dinner repeat of the same but add two more oz of meat

excercise one hour pilates and 10 minutes of dance

Adventurous activity: I wore very high heels and a nice dress. Did some belly dancing! celebrated!!

Monday March 26th BAD DAY 147 lb
I am back to the original weight. Why? I totally fell off the wagon this weekend. I went on a trip and ate junk food for 4 days. The question is how do I get back in shape? How do I believe I can do this again? I just do it again so instead of getting upset and frustrated, I just began again today with high hopes I can do this.

MONDAY 26th
3 small pieces of chicken for breakfast
half apple
one plum
3 small pieces of chicken again
one cup of tomato soup, and a grilled chicken salad with feta cheese a cup
one piece of cake (small chocolate cake)
half an hour of excercise

Adventurous Activity: Took my folks on tour of the Heights, and Memorial Park, pic nic areas I had not seen in years

SUNDAY no weigh in
ONE hard boiled egg, with meat and half a waffle
one half bagel, half biscuit, half sandwich one trail mix cup one apple one
graperfuirt , half cup pop corn NO EXERCISE

Adventurous activity: Played in a raunchy casino on the road from Louisiana to Texas.

SATURDAY March 24th
bread with butter, chicken marsala with pasta and small salad for dinner
lunch small plate of pasta, dry fruit, two almond bars, one bag of trail mix, half a bage and a cappucino,
walked half an hour

Adventurous activity: Visited a sorority house ( I have never been in one)

two scrambled eggs, half toast one piece of ham
a bag of snacks (nuts and chocolate)
a bag of chips
one breaded thin steak with salad
pasta plate
one ice coffee
1 strawberry smoothie with half snack wrap (grilled chicken)
a chocolate bar
fruit drink

Adventurous activity: I did some playback theater using a different technique First time I am able to work on my computer in a hospital waiting room for 7 hours

March 22
no weigh in
snacks all kinds of junk , half a ham and cheese sandwich
night salmon with salad 10 french fries 2tbs pasta
protein bar
two apples
one ginseng drink 70 cals
half an hour walking

Adventurous activity walking around Vanderbilt campus and surrounding areas

walked half an hour

March 21st no weigh in
plate of eggs with ham
one ice cream
plate of meat with veggies
half a crepe veggies 10 french fries
travel to Dalles, no excercise
snacks

Adventurous activity travelling in an RV with 6 other women..now that’s an adventure..heading for Vanderbilt University to visit my niece

March 20th no weigh in
two scrambled eggs tomatoes and ham and bacon
salda with cheese and nuts, one vietnamese egg roll
1/4 nuts
half an apple
sweet potato chips with hummus
half of salmon with veggies

1 hour pilates
adventurous activity: visited the art gallery of David Atticks and FOTOFEST

March 19th 143.9
OWN BOWL of oatmeal with berries and rice milk
indian chai tea, one glass of mango yogurt
small plate of Indian chicken and veggies
salad with salmon
Indian bread
one cappucino with a cookie

one hour pilates

My adventurous activity I wore a black dress!

March 18th 144. 3
FINALLY RELEASED TWO POUNDS YEAH!! so I cheated today!!!
breakfast..one cup of nuts with berries
lunch salad, chicken and meat
white chocolate

meat, salad and one egg
cappucino with icecream!!!! cheating delight.

danced one hour

Adventurous Activity Danced at Planet Funk, sat in a friend’s fabulous garden under a palm tree..right here in Houston!!

March 17th
one plum
one orange
one vegetable juice
one almond bar
a can of tuna with 5 pieces of cheese
one apple with cinnamon
5 chicken wings
two tonic waters
two coffees with milk
1/4 cup of chicken salad with cheese
cheese with teaspoon of honey
15 almonds

1 hour pilates

Adventurous Activity: Went to my first Irish bar on Richmond to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day

March 16th 146.7
2 Eggs
10 almonds
cheese and ham and tomatoes
fruit salad
salad with tofu
blueberries
no excercise

Adventurous Activity: Went to a new Korean restaurant

March 14th 145.7
egg whites with onions
cappucino, chicken salad and veggie soup
two diet cokes, cesar salad grilled chicken 2 shrimp
one plumb
3 almonds

one hour pilates

Adventurous activity Visited the an ice house/bar for the first time on Morningside and had a great conversation with an NPR producer.

March 13th 143.3 lbs
large fruit plate
Thai Ginger and Chicken plate
salad with cheese
one empanada and one piece of breaded chicken
a bag of nuts and raisins
NO EXCERCISE

Adventurous activity
Spent 4 hours in the emergency room watching all kinds of people FAIL to get what they needed on time. shame for calling emergency rooms that way. They should be called wait until you are about to die and then they’ll see you! My adventurous activity was helping one of the victims get a pizza brought to the emergency room for everyone to eat!

March 14th
piece of breaded chicken
one empanada and one veggie wrap with salad
one apple with cinamon
two spring rolls and 4 shrimp with veggies

45 min dance

Adventurous Activity Playback theatre, acting out a childhood trauma.

Some of Patricia’s tips for the perfect Weight and Body

1. Eat every two hours
2. Move, every time you see stairs, use them! If you are bored get up and walk. Quit sitting around to watch TV or on computer.
Get up every half hour and walk around or stretch.
3. Cut out sugars PERIOD no excuses. You can cheat once a week
4. If you do cheat, quit feeling guilty, just get back on the healthy train the next day. NO ONE IS PERFECT.
5. Practice random acts of kindness. This will help others and you feel better. If you feel better, you will eat better.
6. Drink water as much as you can..(yes I hate this one but it works)

7. Forgive yourself and find out what calms you down and do it! for me it is prayer and meditation.
8. Eat a fruit or a healthy snack before a big dinner
9. If things are not working increase your excercises

March 12th 146.1
EGG OMELETTE WITH CHEESE AND BEANS
1/4 cup gaspacho, 6 oz salmon and salad
salad with cheese
2 pasta canelonis, salad and beans (piece of chocolate cake (cheating of the day)

1 hour pilates

Adventurous activity: Foot massage with a friend from highschool

MARCH 11TH (didn’t weigh today)
THREE scrambled eggs with cheese
half cup of hummus
pop corn cup
one waffle two eggs and 1/4 toast with two small pieces of ham
one hour rowing

Adventure Activity rowing at Town Lake Zilker Park in Austin

March 10th 146.7 went to Austin

PROTEIN PLATE STARBUCKS
taco cabana salad with grilled chicken plate
half a baked apple

cauliflour, chicken with cheese and asparragus and two pieces of ham
an apple
40 minutes dancing

Adventure Activity Teaching a two year old how to dance Zumba

March 9th
148 lbs.
things not going well. I am going up on my weight even though I am not eating a lot sugars and flours
morning cup of fruit
lunch
chicken, cheese, (Berryhill plate) 500
one plum
one plate of blueberries and raspberries
one cup of lobster bisque 300 calories
one hour pilates

March 8th

Yogurt and cereal
half an apple

rice meat and veggies
lobster soup 1/3 cup

half an apple

large bowl of ceasar salad
Fettucine alfredo plate

half glass of wine
baked apple 1/3

40 min excercise dance

March 7th

TWO EGG WHITES
1 APPLE
CHICKEN SALAD WITH BLUE CHEESE AND LOW FAT DRESSING
PINEAPPLE
HALF AN APPLE
DINNER
HALF PORTOBELO MUSHROOM
6 MUZZELS
CRAB MEAT
HALF BRIE CHEESE
1 tbsp alcohol
40 minutes of zumba

Cheated on the amount of food I ate today

Adventure Activity: Playback Theatre and Eating at Oporto some of the best tapas in town.

The past few months have been stressful. I left my old job, I began to experience menopause symptoms and my parents began having serious health problems. I am facing mid life as most Americans. Therefore Today March 2nd 2012, I plan to start a new lifestyle plan I will share with you and I request you share with me what you are planning. Here are my goals AND I invite you to share your goals with me as we support each other. In six months we will meet and share our stories. I promise to be brutally honest with myself and with you!

FIRST OF ALL, I NEVER CALL IT WEIGHT LOSS. Since I am a spiritual person having a physical experience If I LOSE weight, I will find it back so I want to RELEASE it forever..From now on I will never say I want to Lose Weight..I say I want to RELEASE weight. I also ask the universe in the present tense I am at my perfect, healthy and Fit weight of 135 lbs.

Release 12 pounds in 6 months. That is two pounds a month through a better diet and exercise plan. Goal is a healthy 135 Lbs. How?

No sugars or flour products for 6 months except for once a week.

Eat every two hours.

Exercise daily at least 1 hour.

Meditate at least 5 minutes each morning. Pray at least another 5 to 10 minutes.

Do Yoga at least 5 minutes daily.

Read one great book at least once a month.

Make three job contacts at least once a week.

Write EVERYTHING I eat and the hours I exercise

Every day I will report what I ate and how I felt about it and I want you to do the same.

March 2 146.9 lbs
Food a hard boiled egg for breakfast.

Exercise 1 hr. dancing

one orange

1 food plate 380 calorie for lunch.

half grapefruit

dinner
salmon with broccoli and kale

Adventure activity: visited a new art gallery

March 3rd 148 lbs.

Danced one hour

2 eggs
1 orange
vitamin water
turkey steak and salad
one bowl of quinoa and one bowl of kelp
half an apple

Adventure activity: Met three interesting artists, a painter, a chef and a sculptor
Spent two hours learning about social media

March 4th 146.9

Starbucks protein plate 380 cal
one decaf capuccino
Starbucks turkey plate 350
1 large apple
2 empanadas and salad 400 cal (ate some carbs here 160 cal worth) can’t do this too often
handful of berries

one hour pilates

Adventure Activity: Spent all morning working at a Starbucks (never done that before)Met with artist/friend/played guitar

March 5th 146.2

2 eggs
one apple
broccoli and lots of steamed chicken
half an apple
one cappuccino with half a cookie (cheated with carbs here)
adventurous fish at Hugo’s with veggies

Danced one hour

Adventure Activity: Ate the most adventurous fish in the best Mexican food restaurant in town according to Texas Monthly. Hugo’s

When Stieg Larsson wrote the first of his famous trilogy known as the “Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” before he died, the actual title of his book was the “ Men Who Hate Women.”

As a teenager Larsson had witnessed a gang rape of a young girl. Her name was Lisbeth like the main character of his books who was also a victim of rape.

You don’t expect anyone to notice this type of misogyny against women in a socialized country like Sweden where women tend to have more equal and human rights than other nations, but Larsson was sensitive enough to notice this is an international problem that is seldom discussed. Some men simply hate women and though they sleep with them, have children with them or are related to them in some way or another, they have no trouble raping, mutilating, trafficking, harassing or forcing them to disappear under the guise of war, political conflict or economic gain.

I had seldom heard the term “femicide” often defined as the misogynist murders of women because they are women. This includes the mutilation, murder, rape and beating of women. Recently, feminists in Latin America have started to use the term to describe the massive murders of women in Juarez and other parts of Mexico and Central America.

Violence against women has increased around the world. The United Nations Development fund for Women estimates that at least one out every three women globally will be beaten, raped or otherwise abused during their lifetime. During war, the stats get worse. According to UNIFEM, since the 90’s, 90 percent of war’s civilian casualties are women and children, not soldiers and this is what we corroborated in Mexico.

In January of this year, I was part of a delegation of Nobel Peace laureates led by Jody Williams, who won her peaceprize in 1997 for her work banning landmines around the world. I had met Ms. Williams while doing a local follow up television program to the Women War and Peace PBS series by award winning documentarian Abigail Disney. (You can watch the unprecedented series online http://www.pbs.org/wnet/women-war-and-peace/.)

In the 80’s she had worked defending human rights especially in Central America and is now leading a campaign to stop violence against women worldwide.

The Women Nobel Laureates had gathered a diverse group together from the US and Canada. Besides journalists, there were human rights activists, an Oscar winning documentary filmmaker, a celebrity folk singer/songwriter, a comedian, and a movie star. We were there to listen to human rights activists in Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala. I was a participant in the Mexican portion of the trip.

The goal was to listen and find out why there were so many violations against human rights activists, especially females who are fighting injustice and insecurity, and to guarantee the Mexican Government protects them.

When the most violent drug war started in the beginning of 2006, the Juarez murders of hundreds of women became common in other parts of Mexico as well. The violence increased towards civilians, journalists and human rights activists. The violence was often brutal. The female editor of the Primera Hora newspaper in the border town of Nuevo Laredo for instance was beheaded for using social media to report on criminals. Right now Mexico is the most dangerous country in the world to be a journalist and if you are female the danger increases.

Living in Texas, we hear more about Mexico and the impact the drug war has on its people and the US but I never imagined I would hear the stories I heard and the ramifications for a nation threatened by a what appears to be a protracted silent war claiming thousands of innocent victims, many of them women.

One of our delegates was Laura Carlsen, the director of the Americas Program of the Center for International Policy. She has been writing about the current drug war’s impact on women in Mexico. She reports that the more than 50,000 Mexicans who have disappeared on the government’s assault on the drug trade are civilians and that murders of women have increased dramatically. She also cites a recent survey of Mexican women human rights defenders that found government national state and local security forces are responsible in 55% of cases of violence and threats of violence to women defenders.

The President of Mexico says they are mostly related to the drug dealers but what would he know when only 2 percent of crimes are investigated.

In two days we heard over 50 women, the common word that came out of their accounts was “impunity.” They say there is no justice in Mexico, even for those who demand it. For example, women who seek to find why a daughter disappeared or a son was murdered or why a human rights activist was raped by police.

In the last few years, six prominent human rights defenders have been murdered. And though women make up a small portion of murders in Mexico, they are the ones in the frontline, demanding justice, investigating cases, standing up for the disappeared, the raped, trafficked, tortured or dismembered.

There will be a report prepared by the Nobel Women’s delegation with all the accounts, each with its own characteristics, victims and anonymities since almost all lack any formal investigation.

As we listened to each account, the victims were no longer just tragic, cold and hard statistics. Each story had a face, and included a family’s suffering, an unsolved mystery and a high level of frustration and disappointment with authorities. They were accounts of real people seldom heard in their country or the world.

We heard the story of Araceli Rodríguez who is part of a movement for peace. Her son, a police officer disappeared like hundreds do in Mexico and there was no investigation. She like many with similar accounts of family members who disappear started the peace movement to carry out the investigations themselves. “I have learned to turn my own pain into collective strength. “ My soul has been mutilated by the absence of my son.”

María Herrera Magdalena shared a similar account. Her face stricken with grief while she spoke. Her four sons disappeared along with 19 other people. Again their cases were never investigated. Today she says spends every day tired of crying and begging for information. She is now committed to helping other families find their loved ones and demanding justice from the government. She like so many others call for a cease fire of a war that claims innocent and seemingly forgotten victims. “All governments in the world must come together to learn what is going on in Mexico. This is a national tragedy. We have been betrayed by our government.”

One of the most difficult cases we heard was fraught with tremendous brutality and violence. A young woman from Chiapas shared how working as a health provider with native women led to her torture and rape by several police agents. She can no longer find work. Her kids can’t go to school and she has no place to go though she suffers from PTSD.

Many of these women dealt with disappearances of family members and couldn’t get any relief from authorities so they joined groups to do the work of those who are supposed to serve them.

The next day we went to Chilpancingo the state capital of the mountain region of Guerrero, one of the poorest and most violent states in Mexico. Here indigenous peasant women suffer daily indignities by the police, the military, local governments and even their own tribes which have little regard for them.

80 percent of the natives here live in the mountains and in utter poverty.

Jody Williams shared at a press conference. “I was struck by the total lack of justice for indigenous women. The have no access to justice.”

Tlachinollan, the human rights center which welcomed us struggles to keep its doors open for human rights workers and those in need in this area providing all kinds of social and legal services and making sure mining (gold and silver) corporations or any corporations for that matter don’t step on their rights. The needs are much greater than the services, especially now under increasing militarization of the area. These indigineous communities are also plagued by domestic violence and to this day there are no women’s shelters to escape. If women have the courage to stand up for themselves, government officials won’t likely speak their native language and care little to meet their needs.

This extends to health care. We heard Juana Anairis whose sister passed in her twenties because the doctor refused to see her during the weekend. She died of a staff infection right after birth.

Two widows Margarita Martín and Marta Morales lost their human rights activist husbands and are trying to raise kids alone without a job because there is no work.

A young woman shared the story of her repressive family. Her own mother told her women in this culture were worth nothing. She refused to believe it and left her tribe at the age of 14 to study in another city. When she returned she was rejected because she was actually working and successful. This story was repeated by other women. They are discriminated outside and inside their communities.

Yet the courageous women who spoke don’t give up. They found radio stations, lead environmental groups, join the police force or defend women’s productive rights despite the harassment and danger. They continue to seek justice, though they are often re victimized, ignored or simply blamed, threatened for even speaking out. In Mexico, if you are a human rights leader, or a grassroots organizer or a journalist or indigenous and you happen to be female, the government will most likely turn you away.

We did visit the office of CONAVIM, the (Comison Nacional Para Prevenir y Erradicar la Violencia Contra Mujeres) ”The National Commission to prevent and eradicate Violence Against Women.” Dilcya García Espinosa de Los Monteros is respected for what she’s done in the short period there. She did promise the delegation leaders she would continue the dialogue with the network of human rights defenders and their office and create a protocol for the protection of the activists. She is also leading the creation of “Justice Centers” for women to protect their rights but she did admit they lack funds to confront such a widespread problem. This is also a political post which may end with the new administration.

Jody Williams shared she was happy CONAVIM was trying to make a difference. “They are people of action and as a woman activist myself with 40 years of experience, I know the only thing that works in these cases is action.”

Lisa Vene Klasen Director of Just Associates, an international women’s rights organization athat partnered with the Nobel Peace Laureates in the fact finding mission expressed CONAVIM was an ally and agreed to continue the dialogue between human rights defenders and the commission, especially to create a protocol to protect them.

What this agency can do however has a lot to do with the priorities of the new administration that will take over the country in July of this year. One of the most popular candidates Enrique Peña Nieto of the PRI party served as governor of the state of Mexico from 2005 to 2011, during one of the worst periods of violence against women and human rights violations in its history.

So whether it is the government, the cartels, priavate security companies hired by national or transnational companies, the police or the military, women or their defenders become targets, the victims of a society which generally doesn’t value them. Maybe Stigg Larsen has something to say about that but his voice is silenced not only by his passing but also by the loud violent voice of some weak, violent, and cowardly men who hate women.

If you want to help stop the violence against women. Here are some of the recommendations by the Nobel Women’s Initiative.

RECOMMENDATIONS FOR THE INTERNATIONAL COMMUNITY:
� Prioritize human rights and women’s human rights in particular, in Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala. We urge you to work with the governments of Honduras, Mexico and Guatemala to ensure that it follows through on its responsibility to properly investigate all complaints of human rights violations against women, prosecute violations and compensate the survivors.
� Publicly denounce violence against women, including the targeting of women human rights defenders. Diplomats and members of the international community can help end the climate of ‘tolerance’ for targeted violence against women by denouncing specific cases of such violence as they arise.
� Tie aid and funding to human rights. We urge you to ensure that technical and financial support provided by different international organizations and governments to the governments of Mexico, Guatemala and Honduras fully complies with, and respects, human rights standards.
� Monitor the principal of judicial independence. We urge you to push the governments of Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala to guarantee judicial independence and effectiveness in order to combat impunity for violence against women and ensure fundamental rights are protected.
� Implement effective mechanisms for dispute resolution. We urge you to work with the governments of Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala to implement effective mechanisms to resolve disputes over land rights and titles, labour rights, environmental and collective rights. This will help ensure that women’s human rights defenders do not become targets of intimidation and aggression as a result of their involvement in these disputes.
� Support women at the community level to help bring an end to violence in the region. Investing in grassroots women’s organizations working to end violence in their community is a cost-effective, efficient and very sustainable way of improving security for people in Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala. We urge you to earmark a greater proportion of foreign assistance to women’s organizations. This community-based model will reduce a dangerous dependence on armed solutions to security challenges.
For more information on the delegation, please visit the Nobel Women’s Initiative website: www.nobelwomensinitiative.org.
For media interviews, please contact: Rachel Vincent, Media Manager, Nobel Women’s Initiative rvincent@nobelwomensinitiative.org | 613-276-9030; 613-569-8400, ext. 113

WHAT I AM GRATEFUL FOR
A full moon, closer to the earth than it has ever been!

1.      Shop less and spend more time with the people I love.

2.      Buy a gift or food and pray for people I meet in the streets in the next two weeks:  the                 homeless, the mentally ill and the ones who have not yet seen experienced abundance.

3.      Finish all the projects that must be finished before next year!

4.      Dance with my family and teach little ones to enjoy music.

5.      Laugh and Yawn more.

6.      Get at least 8 hours of sleep now that I can.

7.      Give more hugs.

8.      Buy one good gift for family and friends  instead of 2,3 or 5.

9.      Be in gratitude at all times.

10.     Never get tired of smiling.

I leave you with this You Tube link made by a Canadian songwriter who has become a sensation. He and his sister did the video but what was most important to me was that he shares how the greatest gift he can give is the gift God gave him. He is a drummer, so instead of shopping, He just went Playin’ his drum.  This is his greatest gift. We all have something we do well, discover it and give it away this Christmas. Remember YOU are the gift!

If you enjoy classical music. This is my favorite CD. I recommend it. Ana Maria Martinez is a world renowned Soprano and she lives in Houston. I like to support my local artists.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000QQT0F4/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1/185-9685352-7946234?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_r=074MPMJ3JH9ZCZ67Y29M&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_i=B000BK53G0

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE, SPREAD THE LOVE!

Again, if you have talent, share it. That’s your gift (This is the Vazquez family. They recorded this song in their home studio, went viral and are now signing a contract with Sony.

I had always been curious about the Incas. I had studied them in middle school but being here was another story. I had always admired the Inca architects, engineers, masons and artisans.  They were detailed and precise. They worked with very heavy stones and didn’t use wheels so to this day I have no idea how they got those heavy stones around. That’s why you can imagine I was not about to complain about hiking the Inca trail.

To this day, Cuzco natives sell extraordinary goods. The Incas were great weavers. The women spin wool from alpacas and llamas into cloth so I got a great sweater while I was in Cusco.

Most hikers who do the Inca Trail hire locals to carry their backpack. It is a very tough trail which goes through cloud forests, alpine tundra, settlements, tunnels and many Inca ruins before you reach the mystic Machu Picchu, the Inca site built in the 15th century around 8,000 feet above sea level.  As you hike you also notice terraced fields, which is where the Incas once cultivated 200 types of Peruvian potatoes. I must admit I spent some of my favorite moments taking photos of the llamas that were all around us at the highest points.

This was by far the hardest trek I have ever done. We had to go up almost 14,000 feet (Dead Woman’s Pass) and back down to sea level. Two in our group had to quit. They couldn’t handle the altitude.
We were in a group of 10 people travelling together with a guide. I remember most Stephanie and her husband from Australia. They were both in their 70s but they were in the best shape you can imagine. They taught me how to go up and down so I would not hurt myself. I have no idea why but I always arrived 2 hours after everyone else. I think it might have to do with my filming and stopping to look at things and study them. (Or just maybe I am finding an excuse for being the worst hiker in the group!)
The last day I decided to get up really early because I wanted to get there first. I practically ran towards the valley of Machu Picchu and we arrived around 5 am. My first reaction was WOW! I couldn’t believe it. There was something majestic, spiritual, and peaceful about the place. It was no doubt for me a sacred site (because whoever wrote the books was not there when the Incas were there). The explanations by the guide were quite confusing. I never really felt I could trust his knowledge. I had read a few books about Machu Picchu, which was supposedly built around A.D. 1450 for about 500 to 700 people, but it didn’t much matter to me. I just knew how I felt. I felt a tremendous gratitude for the gift of arriving, seeing and enjoying it. It had not been an easy four days but it was worth every minute. Here is what I believe Machu Picchu is about.

Historians have claimed Machu Picchu was a defensive stronghold for one of its emperors, Pachacuti. Others suggest it was an escape for the upper echelons of the Incas. Most believe it was a sacred site and I have to agree.  A National Geographic Explorer Dr. Johna Reihnard researched it for years enough to believe Machu Picchu was built in the center of a sacred landscape. To this days, modern day Incas also revere the river that runs through Machu Picchu, the Urubamba River.  Machu Picchu is also the site of many mysterious temples.
Researchers also found the landscape especially the mountains are in alignment with key astronomical events important to the Incas. So as you can see, I have no doubt in my humble mind, Machu Picchu was a religious site.
I could go into detail about what I saw but I don’t travel so much to just see structures. I travel to feel differently, to get away from my regular existence, to enjoy the aesthetics of what I see, and most importantly, I travel because of how places like Machu Picchu allow me and invite me to feel closer to the divine.  I can’t imagine arriving at this site and not feeling awe, or curiosity or gratitude. That’s why dates, historical facts, geographical locations, or perfect details don’t matter so much to me. I care about how I feel when I see these extraordinary monuments, sites and natural landscapes.  I feel like I am part of something bigger than me. I feel connected to the people who once lived there. I feel like I am so incredibly lucky to be present, that I can’t fit all that beauty in my soul. It is just overwhelming.
Machu Picchu is becoming very crowded and undoubtedly all the visitors are impacting the site, but I can’t blame them. I would want the whole world to see this site. I would want them to feel what I felt… tremendous peace and gratitude for I could see it with my eyes, feel it with my soul and walk it with my feet. What a gift.

Dr. Sherry Buffington will be talking about the law of abundance this coming Sunday April 8th at 3pm on HoustonPBS. Although I am no longer at the station, this series is one of the best we ever recorded and this particular topic is of great importance in the times we live. I suggest you watch the show to learn what it is that may be keeping you from what you want.

I wanted to share some essentials of another book she’s written called the 7 Essentials of Lasting Success. What I love about this book is the emphasis on authentic self awareness and expression. This is so important to develop the other six essentials. Until we have clarity about what we are passionate about, we waste a lot of time and money running down the wrong path, doing the wrong things and getting the wrong results. The only way we can have the energy to do what makes us happy is to know what makes us happy! In other words, self awareness is the foundation for everything else.

Ask yourself what do I love to do? What is my dream job? What is my true mission in life? Do it with no limitations. Remember according to neuroscientist Mark Waldman 99 percent of negative thoughts are fabrications. We limit ourselves. Take a chance and the time to find out what makes you happy. If you have a close friend or family member you trust. Ask them if you can’t figure it out yourself.

Secondly, have a clear purpose and focus. Everyone else will tell you. Get a job, try this, or try that. There isn’t too much time to “try” things unless you are very young, when you should or when you are trying to find out who you really are, but after your 20’s, you should have a good idea of what makes you tick.  Write down your clear and passionate held goals and go after them. The worst thing you can do is to do nothing!

Dr. Buffington then talks about having open, expectant attitude and beliefs.  You must stay positive. You have to have faith in yourself. She says the only things that hold us back is our own conditioning, old baggage that is.

She says once “we add open, expectant attitudes and beliefs to a sense of direction and a plan for arriving at our intended destination, we begin to feel quite confident provided we have built healthy enough boundaries to prevent others from pushing us around or pulling us off our chosen paths.”

Dr. Buffington also gives advice on how to develop personal boundaries. Ask yourself the following questions.

Who you are

Who you are not

What you will accept from self and others

What you will not accept from self and others

To have strong boundaries, you need to be assertive, persuasive and negotiate well.

“Go for the moon. If you don’t get it, you’ll still be heading for a star. Happiness lies not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of the creative effort.”

Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Finally to achieve success, you need self confidence. Buffington calls the Confidence Formula. Knowledge, Experience and Positive Feedback. You must have all three to have confidence.

You must also have self esteem. That means we have to know we are worth the effort it will take to actually bring our dreams to fruition. Finally you need to have effective self management. Once others cannot impact you negatively, self management becomes natural and enjoyable. You will begin to develop healthier relationships and discover there are a lot of people willing to help those who act wisely and are willing and able to help themselves.

To create a path for success, Dr. Buffington suggests you lay out a specific plan for creating your own personal brand of success.

I look forward to working on these 7 essentials the rest of my life! I suggest you stay tuned to Dr. Sherry Buffington’s show on the Law of Abundance which is expected to air in April of 2012.

In the mean time I suggest you watch this past show on the Art of Happiness.

Discipline is essential for success

What I am grateful for:

I have been discipline in some of the most important periods of my life

MY SECOND CAMINO DE SANTIAGO DE COMPOSTELA

After 6 years, I decided to do the Camino de Santiago or St. James Way again. The Camino de Santiago is an ancient pilgrimage trail in Spain that’s been around for thousands of years. Religious pilgrims believe St. James the disciple’s bones were found in northern Spain, and interned in the cathedral in Santiago de Compostela. At first people would travel there to get forgiveness for their sins. Today, pilgrims do it for various motives, religious, spiritual or personal. Spain has a system of refugios like youth hostels that provide shelter for pilgrims for a minimal fee or contribution. To access them you have to get a pilgrim’s passport. There are trails from all parts of Europe.

The first time I did the camino, I had done the Portuguese Camino which was shorter and easier than the most frequented French Camino which takes about six weeks to complete.  I did the first Camino in 2004 which was a special jubilee year. I had no idea what that meant but I found that during that year  you could get a plenary indulgence just by going to the Cathedral and Tomb of James, attend mass or do some charitable work and no walking was required!    

Since I was not walking to be pardoned. It didn’t matter!  I wanted to walk for very personal, non religious reasons.

 At the time I was broken in many places. My life was in shambles. I had been frustrated for quite a while. I loved my job but I wanted to do more. My music band had broken up and I couldn’t eat anything without feeling sick to my stomach. A dear friend told me I should do the Camino de Santiago and I had no idea what she was talking about. I just believed her because I was desperate. I was stuck, afraid and had no idea what to do. I decided to do the Camino in the winter so I could be alone most of the time. I had no idea if I could do it and I didn’t know how my feet or body would respond.  I just knew the Camino was calling me.

I got some valuable trek information  from a friend who is a nun in Spain and who had walked it several times.  She told me not to pack more than 14 pounds or 7 kilos. I took her advise to heart and I walked around with a very heavy coat. I was walking an average of 18 to 20 km a day and that was excruciatingly difficult for someone from Houston Texas. We just don’t walk here. It felt strange to do it for so many hours. Everything starts to hurt but something inside of me kept me going.  I kept playing mind games so that I could finish the journey each day. I would tell myself if I walked another hour, I would get to eat a piece of chocolate or a croissant or drink a cappuccino! The views were stunning at times, but what I remember most is the silence, the pain and the sense that I was never alone. On the fourth day, with blisters on my feet I fell down on my knees as if I was supposed to pray or something. My knee was in excruciating pain and I could not move.  I knelt there in a daze wondering how the heck I was going to be rescued with absolutely no one around. I began to pray and in just a few minutes a car appeared on the road. I waved my hands because I couldn’t even stand and I got the strength to get up when the driver saw me. I asked him if he could please call the police. I said “I can’t walk and I don’t know where I am. “ He said don’t worry, I will send someone to fetch you. I had to trust him.  In just a few minutes two young men, volunteer emergency personnel picked me up and took me to the hospital where I was taken care of for free. (That horrible socialized medicine everyone here talks about) They did an x ray and  I had a tear in my meniscus.  I was ordered not to walk anymore. I cried out of frustration, not pain. I took a bus to the cathedral next day and I heard a voice inside me say I had to come back and finish the trek the following year. I only had about 50 km left to do so it was very doable.  The next year I returned with my friend who lives in Germany and had become my best friend in my last year of graduate school in Spain.  We finished the trek with a lot of laughter and hardly any stress.  I felt tremendous joy and I began a new life when I returned. The Camino had done its deed. The next six years would open new doors but it would not be easy. I would get a new show and it would eventually be distributed nationally but I would have to face a lot of difficult situations perpetuated by envious people who felt threatened.  My health did improve substantially but I still got cancer. Fortunately it was the kind that could be cured.

It took me another 6 years to decide to start the 800 miles  French Camino which usually takes 6 weeks to finish.. Why did it take me so long to decide? I had no desire to do it again until I felt the Camino calling me again. People ask me all the time, why did you feel you had to do this pilgrimage? I said I don’t know except that I feel I have to. There is an inner voice telling me I need to do it because there are major changes that will take place in my life and the Camino will prepare me for them.

I had no expectations. I wanted to start in the French Pyrenees at St. Jean de Pied. I knew I would need to walk about 25 km a day and that it would not be easy so my friends and I planned to walk for 7 days. Again I had no idea if my body would be able to take this kind of beating. I trained by doing yoga, pilates, dancing and some walking but nothing like 25 km a day. I have arthritis after two ankle and knee surgeries on the right side.  I suspected I might have some troubles but I trusted God and my intense desire to do it! Whether we like it or not we are all on a spiritual path and my body was not the most important element of this journey.

The first day would most likely be the toughest. We would have to hike up 1400 meters in the Pyrenees and then go down to Roncesvalles in Spain. It didn’t take long at all to realize the difference between my physical shape and that of my friends who live in Europe and walk or run a few hours daily. They were a bit frustrated with me and it was understandable. I had come totally unprepared in their eyes.  My backpack was the wrong type.  I was carrying too much weight and they weren’t so sure my shoe size was the right one for the hike. They suggested I buy a new backpack and send off the old one with half the weight. When they met me my backpack weighed 20 pounds. I had no idea. We were forced to start the day late, which is a real no no in this Camino because your body needs to be in the best shape possible to withstand 6 to 9 hours of walking and that’s only doable if you start early in my view.  It took us hours to get through the French bureaucracy to send off the old pack with the extra weight. We started walking at 10 am instead of 7.  I was going at such slow pace my friends said they would have to leave me behind because they didn’t want to risk their lives which I totally understood because they walked twice as fast as I did and as much as I may have tried I didn’t feel I had the stamina they had to continue at their pace. I bid them farewell and told them not to worry. I knew I was running a risk. If you end up walking in the mountains at night, it can be very dangerous, but I also knew this was my journey and I didn’t have children like they did. I also had a cell phone, flashlight and no fear.  I figured if I was no supposed to make it, this was not a bad place to cross over to the other side!

The next few hours were grueling to say the least. I would have to pace myself because I could tell I wasn’t used to the altitude either. However, in the heavy fog, I felt like I was in heaven. I was carrying a holy spirit cross with me which I held tight in my hand every time I felt I was having a hard time moving forward and the message that I kept hearing was have faith, have faith and don’t give up now.

I also forced myself to smile every now and then so I would feel better and it worked! After about 7 hours, I saw a car driving towards me. When I looked in the back seat, my two friends were sitting there and invited me to join them. They explained they could not see a thing and they were not about to go down the mountains without proper vision. I totally understood and was glad they had made that decision. They were two kilometers ahead of me and we needed another 9 km to finish but we called it a day.  When I arrived my ankle was throbbing and I asked for ice. I knew this was not going to be an easy task and I told me friends as I had said the day before.  ‘This is my journey; please by all means go ahead of me. “ My goal is to finish each day even if it takes me 3 or 4 extra hours.”

The next four days I would walk, my friends would join me at different points, talk to me, entertain me and make sure I was alright. I was grateful. I didn’t feel they had to do that. After all I was not in shape and would have slowed them down considerably.  Every day was physically more demanding. I began to have blisters and my right foot would get more swollen each day. I had no idea what was going on with it but I just knew I was in pain. I did find this out about myself. I never stopped.People would all walk faster than me, but they would also rest and stop more. I knew I couldn’t do that. I knew if I did, I would not be able to finish the daily trek.  At one point I overheard a large family say (yes, in Europe, some families walk together for fun for few hours on the weekend!) “This poor lady walks real slow” They kind of felt sorry for me and I would just smile inside. I knew I was walking real slowly but I also knew I would get to my next destination. On the same day, the patriarch of the family said to me. “You are a champion. You never give up.” This would give me hope to continue the rest of the days I would be walking. I felt his was a clear message I was doing it my way and that I would be okay.  That day I arrived at the same time the family did. When they saw me, they smiled right back!

On the fifth day, my foot began cramping and I knew that was not a good sign. I decided to stop and see if I could rub it down so I could finish the next 9 km I had left. We stopped at a bridge and I overheard this man quoting a bible verse real loudly. He had a Mexican accent and I just said. Hey, I live in Texasand I can hear you are from Mexico. He agreed. I was in so much pain I was practically in tears. I said, “I have to stop. I am in too much pain.” He said it is no coincidence you are here. My friend and I are osteopaths and I am here to take care of your ankle. For the next hour he rubbed my ankle and we both prayed I would make it. I then asked him what I should do. He said you have no solution because you’ve had surgery. I said should I quit? He said, “This is your journey, only you can answer that. “

Those five days, I had seen some of the most beautiful scenery I had ever seen in my life. I had spent countless hours alone, thinking, praying, smiling and also crying. I had moments of despair and moments of joy. I overcame the pain and just kept going. Once in Estella, a small town in Navarra (the Basque country) I knew I had to quit.  I asked myself why I was killing myself. God would not want me to hurt myself. I had no idea if my injury would be irreversible and I was certain I wanted to finish this trek eventually and get to Santiago over the years.  I knew it would take time. There was no reason why I needed to hurt myself to do the pilgrimage. I told my friends I was sorry but I had to turn back. They both agreed and I could tell they were relieved.

The most important lesson I learned in this particular part of the journey was that expectations make us unhappy. I did not have any expectations for myself except to do the best I could.  I was not disappointed. I did what I could do.  I also learned what I didn’t want to do next time and what was possible for me. I achieved my goal. I walked as far as I could and I listened to my inner voice. It was loud when it told me to have faith, to trust and it was also loud when it told me to quit.

 I spent the next three days with my best friend from grade school. She a director of a schoolin Madrid. She is one of the most intelligent women I have ever met.  She is a happy religious sister with a very loving disposition. She let me sleep for two days. I only got up to eat.  I got myself together, went to the doctor, the hairdresser and was able to relax and recoup before going back to work. I knew something major would happen after this Camino when I returned.  My inner voice told me so. The voice kept telling me. “Trust me, Trust me, Trust me.” I knew it could be painful, but I also knew there was light at the end of the tunnel, just as there was light at the end of this journey. I was surrounded by love, compassion and understanding.  I couldn’t ask for more. I also knew I would return to the next phase of the Camino, just as I would return to the next phase of my life.  I knew the Camino would call me again and challenge me to take the next step without knowing how or when. I just had to trust.